Sensitivity of a Sword
by Ikana
Summary: Wielding a sword requires countless skills. Utterly comprehending what is in your hands is one of them. And it is not only required for mastering your katana, it's also needed to harmonise with people you lay your hands on. What Zoro learned from listening to his weapons was also to listen to someone he got closer to. Zoro x Sanji -not beta read & written while sick-
1. Prologue

Things don't develop at first sight. That is not how things work with our kind. Casual rules of life never applied to us to begin with.

Starving to death after several days? Bleeding out from our guts hanging out and our bones being smashed to smithereens and getting cut up from the inside as well?

It is nothing to us. It is what it is to us. What we agreed to in order to catch up with our dreams that got so much ahead of us… That is it what it is.

It's plain normal. We keep it simple. We just don't die.

…But that does not mean that it does not hurt.

When life and destiny meet and try to stomp you down, it is alright, because you know yourself. What you are capable of. You can feel your own life slowly come to an end when things get critical. You can guess your end and it is okay because when you feel everything, there is nothing to worry left. Only knowledge. And enough time to prepare.

That is not what it is like when your nakama get hurt. You don't know how much life is left in them. You cannot feel it for them. You cannot prepare yourself.

Loss comes suddenly. And it hits you harder than a cannonball.

This is what it makes so harsh. Being a pirate… There is pain that goes beyond our wildest experiences.

The sea fits us though.

Erratic. Indomitable. Vast. Merciless. And so full of life.

Elegant and sometimes gracious too.

Without the sea, we would never have met. None of us.

Even though it had started with me thinking of them as irredeemable fools, I am now one of them. One of those whose greatest worry is if we will all make it. Without exception.

So when I watched one of those fools who I disliked at first sight getting sliced open by a person I have never met before, I could not believe my eyes. That very moment I felt so much sympathy, so much hatred towards this recklessness that I could not forgive. Getting close with reckless people, I told myself it would not do me good. It was already too much when he fell, his guts hanging out grossly and giving us all a clear view of his intestines. How could I trust people who would die without a worry when they have friends around them, their hearts clinging to the very person who is about to fall forever? Back then I screamed that letting go of his ambitions would be a better idea than dying half assed for them but also in vain.

This man. He is everything. But not half assed at all.


	2. So he can be gentle too

"Sanji! You're fishing? Did you get something already? Did you did you did you did you?"

"SHUT UP!" Luffy tilted his head to the side when the blond cook kicked out to him, only to get hit by the circular kick anyway. Even though the Captain was sent flying he got up immediately anyway with a huge grin in his face. He walked up to the fishing man again, looking over his shoulder to watch the bait on its string sway in the water.

"Seriously, you'll disperse all the fish! We're running low on food, this is a serious matter. I told you to go fishing too."

"Ah? You did?"

"DAMN RIGHT I DID!" The young man lashed out to him again annoyed and hit Luffy's head once more.

Way too laid back, that is what describes this captain best. An absolute airhead bastard! It is what makes travelling with him so much fun and yet so dangerously annoying. The blond looked down at the fallen over Captain. "Go get your fishing rod and hand it to the muscle idiot, he can do it in your place. Do anything, just do it somewhere else and do it quietly." Tsk… Quietly. Not a word that could be found in Luffy's vocabulary that easily. But that was also a good thing. Quiet Luffy meant trouble, sharpened senses and utter danger.

"Oi, what's the ruckus out here?"

"Nami-saaaaaan!" Of course hearts went flying, praise of beauty and vows of providing countless fish to get cooked only to keep her beautiful appearance healthy spewed from Sanji, loud and serious as always. A usual picture of the crew having a good time. A life similar to the sea, constant change of wild and calm, stormy, windy, sad and happy. Problems were nothing to grasp since from second to second they could change their shape.

"Oi, Sanji?", Luffy said, leaning forward curiously. The other one kept blabbering on of course, not realising something was going on. "Sanji", he repeated, which turned into the cook looking at him annoyed and barking an impatient "WHAT?!"

"The fishing rod is gone." Sanji's eyes widened quickly and he rushed over to where it had been secured. There it was. One of those problems that warped in shape so quickly. First it was a loud captain, now it was a gone fishing rod combined with a critical food situation.

"When did that happen?!"

"Right now. I just watched it bowing and getting pulled on. But you didn't listen so I watched it and it got pulled into the water then."

"WHAAAAT?! AND YOU DIDN'T HOLD IT?!"

"Me? Since it was your catch I figured that you wanted to reel it in."

"IDIOT!" He smacked him violently and ran towards the railing to have a look beyond. Definitely sunk and gone. It could not be helped now. "Alright Luffy… hand me yours."

"Mine? It's gone?"

"WHAT?"

Nami watched from above, wondering if this noise would cease soon. The situation was worrisome. They were in the middle of the sea and after ramming a reef the impact had damaged the cooling chamber. It was specially crafted, simply smacking planks onto the tear would not do much. It got too warm in there with the isolation broken and the ice had melted quicker than it should have. Ussop had crafted fishing rods for them with some little supplies that had been left but the general stock on the ship was running low, no matter what.

The girl looked up to the sky, feeling a soft breeze on her skin. No change in wind. It was weak but steady. Enough so they would not have to row. Her eyes fell back down. Sanji choked Luffy. Of course. That was a bad situation. Threatening the rubber man to become bait next was natural, it even occurred to Nami that sometimes this sounded like a better thing than to call that weirdhead captain. But he was a strong one. And he valued his friends. Like everyone on this ship did. It wasn't Luffy's fault for not fully comprehending the situation. Luffy was a dreamer who used this ability to keep everybody motivated. Nami on the other hand tried to keep them all from living in their air castles for too long. She would have to come up with something before things would get out of hands.

"It is bad, what shall we do now?", she asked eventually. The cook looked up, hearts in his eyes again. "Don't worry, Nami-san! We'll find a way, don't worry, I'll make lots and lots of food of love for you!" He turned towards Luffy. "And I will start with cooking byou/b, idiot!"

There she was, Nami, hitting both on the head. "Shut up you two! We need to find a solution!" She looked around, deciding to send Luffy to talk to Ussop in order to make something up. Sanji went into the kitchen so he could check the supplies once more.

He set an old apple aside for himself and started cutting the last somewhat fresher looking fruits and some bread. He would have to use the eggs too or they would spoil. He could soak the dry bread in water, mix it with more flour and the eggs and fry fruit slices in this improvised dough. Not a good receipt, but it would be sufficient for a meal this day.

Cutting short on eating to be careful with the supplies was useless at a time like this, so they have had plenty the last few days. Sanji preferred them getting up a little fat, just in case the harsh times would eventually come. Also letting the food go to waste by waiting too long until it got bad would also have been a mistake. Those feasts of enormous amount of food had included him of course, but by now they had run out of food that could get bad so fast. Since then he had pretended to have eaten beforehand. In fact he had not eaten in two days. In favour of his friends, so his Nakama had more left.

While shaking the pan on the stove he sensed someone enter the kitchen. Since it was only his back that was facing the door, his sixth sense had to do the work for him. Taking a guess who it was was not too difficult. "Oi. If you're here to demand booze, get out."

Zoro did not say anything as he sat down and watched the blond cook. The atmosphere was tense, they could feel it both. Zoro was edgy. So was the cook. But Sanji kept moving the snacks in his pan casually to keep them from burning, not giving away that he felt somewhat worked up. When he was done, Sanji put the little bit he had fried on a nearby plate. "What's up with your stare. It's creepy."

"Have you eaten?"

Sanji smirked. That bastard. He had never believed the lie of having eaten before everyone else. "Sure. As always recently." He grabbed his cigarette and lit it. "I see" the other replied flatly. Sanji bit his lip. His back still facing the room.

Lying to your Nakama. You do what you have to in order to protect them, right? It indeed is betrayal, but of goodwill. You can gauge your own strength and abilities, so you know how to handle yourself. Putting more burden than necessary on his friends would also be reckless, so he chose his own way of handling the situation.

"It's rather you taking the damage than giving us a feel of hunger. That's it?" Zoro's voice was calm, somewhat bored, but not there was no trace of indifference. He cared after all. They were friends.

"I am who I am." He turned and put a small plate in front of the man. Three slices of fried fruit. "You'll have the ladies have a bigger share for their bodies are weaker than ours I assume?"

"Tsk. Don't make me sound like a gentleman, it's embarrassing!", the swordsman spat and shoved the plate away. "How long will this last before it spoils?"

"Oh, Zoro. It's not like you to think ahead", the cook joked. He walked over to his shipmate, the steps echoing in the room as he moved. Eventually he came to lean against the table next to Zoro, yet he did not face him. His eyes were fixed at the bright sky out of the bull's eye. He inhaled the taste of his beloved tobacco deeply. "At this temperature… Until tomorrow noon I assume. We have some bread left and the drinking water will last for 8 days if we keep using it normally. But that can be stretched out."

"So it is no use keeping this meal either since it will only last for short anyway."

The cook turned his head curiously. "Are you worried? It's not like you."

"I heard your quarrel with Luffy. The rods are gone. We'll have to find shallow waters to hunt with our weapons, or we're in trouble. When's the the next landing on an island?"

"15 Days since the recent winds held us back so long. Also the most recent attack cost us more time than expected. It's annoying getting hunted."

The swordsman lifted his hand and put it on Sanji's shoulder. "What are you saying, crappy cook? That's what it makes fun being a pirate."

What a gentle touch. It was so nice once in a while. He put his hand on top of it. It was warm. The tension was long gone and things had turned unusually quiet, but also slightly emotional. Sanji was seriously worried. His hand grasping back, it was a clear sign. That traumatizing experience, Zoro was aware that the cook did not want his Nakama go anywhere near that starving point Sanji had experienced. The Swordsman tightened his grip to reassure him. "What are you afraid of, crappy cook?", he asked even though he knew it very well. "I'll go fishing now. It'll be fine."

And Sanji's grip tightened, his stress level went overboard. He would fail if he would face hunger on this very ship. So he slipped out of his clothes, stripped down to his underwear and put everything neatly together. "I'll go too."


	3. Let go while you

With the finished food served – not to mention that Nami got a serving twice as big as everyone else – and three slices left for Zoro next to Sanji's apple, there was nothing left that could stop Sanji from taking care of the food hunt as well.

The corded ladder was let down, the anchor was cast, the sails were lifted and both men had stripped down to their utmost necessities to keep covered in front of the ship's lady. Luffy had taken his seat at Going Merry's head like he always did and watched the situation. Both, the cook and the swordsman had taken stance at the plank and had jumped in head first. Their disadvantage of fighting skills being reduced in the waters was nothing any of them worried about. They had to act as long as their energy was still replenished.

No surprise Ussop had passed, talking about sharks and sea creatures and thousands of excuses not to enter. It didn't mean anything to Sanji. When the cold water hit his skin and the faint taste of salt spread in his mouth, he couldn't but think back about this time, stuck on the island. Memories of pain, desperation and weakness infected his concentration as he went deeper, looking around only to see the light slowly fade above him and to see nothing but water around him. Estimated four and a half meters beneath the surface he stopped and tried to make anything out. Of course fish would not stay after someone jumping in, but it was completely empty around here.

Zoro showed up next to him, looking around as curiously. There were no big shadows, no huge sea creature that might have fed on fish from this area. Maybe if they took some time. Sanji headed back up, the salt water already burning in his eyes like mad. The other was not as fast to follow.

The cook took ahold of the ladder and wiped his eyes with the other to get the salt water out. "What a nasty feeling…", he mumbled to himself and spit the salty fluid in disgust as he felt it invade his mouth when he had talked. His hair that had been going with the water's flow just a few seconds ago hung flatly from his head, his usually covered eye now free to daylight as he had whipped his hair back after diving up. He bit his lip. Salt had a gross taste. It was the only taste he could not stand. This was even more of a despicable flavour than blood. To him, salt was the very reminder of the near death experience he had never been able to overcome.

He spit again, bit the inside of his cheek and bit again. A cigarette would be nice to cover to up. But he would have to wait until fish got back here.

He looked down. Zoro was still holding his breath and kept his place. He could see that the man was drifting away bit by bit, but it was not too bad. That guy was probably aware of it. …on the other hand. With that sense of direction? Sanji decided to watch him some more. The moving surface and the light glistening on the wave's sharp edges gave him other thoughts. When someone was smashed against a wave like these, high and edgy to the top, would enough speed not only cause inner bleeding at the impact, but maybe, if it was fast enough, be able to cut the body? They had seen wind cutting, water shot at cannon speed and smoke take a grasp. In this world, there was nothing impossible. So All Blue was not impossible either. If only he could reach it. A sea so full of life that nothing was impossible anymore.

With a smile he let go, inhaled deeply and went down to accompany the idiot swordsman once more. It was time for them to make a catch.

Zoro looked around so he could identify what moved towards him. Only a human. Only Sanji. Good enough, he had spotted a fish, huge of course, a swordfish that could easily get them through three days if they had the possibility to cool it. So Sanji shook his head, it would be a waste. But Zoro nodded and made a gesture with his hand that probably meant something like "half of it" and then he pointed at his stomach and it was enough for the cook to understand. Luffy and Zoro were good eaters after all, so maybe if it was caught, it would not be too much of a waste.

The green haired pointed a curve around the fish, most likely indicating that Sanji was supposed to shoo it towards him so he could grab it. What a man. But Sanji did. Slowly swimming around, careful not to scare it away. Then he pushed his hands towards an incredibly motionless Zoro and really, the fish fell for it, going towards him! Just when Sanji thought that it was this easy apparently, Zoro's grip did not last. Its wet scales were slippery and it escaped in a mere second and Sanji exhaled depressed before getting up again.

He took hold of the ladder again and used some time to wipe his eyes, the burning blinding him again as it usually did. When he opened them again to see, the water was dyed red and he just hung there, hallway on the ladder, not comprehending what was going on. He looked around. Zoro. There was no Zoro. He looked up. No Luffy on Merry's head.

He looked down at the water, then up again. His blood ran cold. "Oi…", he murmured. "Shithead…"

Just when he was about to jump in again to dive and look for him, familiar rubber wrapped around his body and dragged him up, not without almost choking him of course, since that was inevitable with Luffy's style of doing things. The ladder got pulled up by Ussop and while the cook still coughed violently from having his air cut off so suddenly, he made out the idiotic swordsman on the floor, bleeding. Nami was already running towards him, preparing the bandages for the stomach.

"Oi…", he said, sounding annoyed though it was far from what he actually was. "What did I miss down there?"

Zoro laughed quietly. "That thing… came back and pierced through. Neat and clean." He gave the wound a look. It was a small, yet clean hole indeed. Apparently all organs were okay, otherwise that bastard wouldn't be able to sit anymore, but it pissed Sanji off nevertheless. "What's it with you, being careless?"

"What's with you, jumping into the sea, trying to grab fish with your bare hands?", Nami interrupted worked up. Her pressing the wound dressing onto the hole in the stomach wasn't gentle at all, she had to express her anger after all.

"But why's it torn in the length?", the blond asked, ignoring the rhetorical question the navigator had given.

"Because the sword was still in when Luffy dragged me out and the weight tore it", the wounded answered simply as if he was in no pain at all. Sanji bit his lip. Acts of bravery, that's what they always did. Getting wounded, even with no enemies. Getting in trouble over things that on other days seemed so little. The life of a pirate was a life like this, he knew! But when there was nobody around they had to beat, why was it so common to act tough still? It hurt. It obviously did. It was because Zoro hid it that Sanji naturally did when he was in pain as well. It was how things went on this ship. But being in pain still meant that it hurt. Showing that couldn't be considered pitiful, right?

He walked up to him and stepped on Zoro's stomach violently, causing him to cry out. Ussop, Nami and Luffy all gasped in surprise too. "You idiot had it and let it get away!", he yelled, upset over nothing and everything. He had been down too, why was it someone like this guy to take the injury? Sanji could deal with pain, but friends suffering… It was him to be in charge of the food, Zoro could have just stayed on deck, sleeping or anything. There had been no obligation, Sanji could have gone alone. Now it was like this. And without food on top of that!

The cry of the man below him was satisfying at least and he turned away now to leave them. "Idiot, not even capable of handling a tiny fish. You're so lame…" With that he disappeared into the kitchen. He needed some alone time.

Inside he took the apple he had chosen for himself. When he touched it the skin gave in. It did not look good anymore.

He took the plate with the last three fried fruit slices and set it down next to the swordsman. "Eat this, so you'll heal faster."

"That's not enough to help me even a little bit", Zoro replied dryly and Sanji stepped on the wound once more with a lot of force. "Don't be ungrateful for food, you idiot! Eat it up and go try again!"

What he hadn't thought was that Zoro really did try again. He had been on the hunt for fish after that, but without success again. Luffy had always watched to be the emergency rescue to land Zoro in case of danger. But there was no case of danger anymore. Nothing reappeared.

During the night, Zoro entered the kitchen again, meeting with the cook.

"Oi, no booze, idiot. Go back on watch."

"It's Ussop's turn on the watch." The swordsman sat down beside him and handed him one of the three snacks that had been for Zoro. Sanji looked up. "What's that?"

"The food you made. I don't want this."

Sanji's eye twitched. "You don't want this? It is the best I can do in this situation, how can you be so ungrateful-" His hand was caught and his words of upcoming rant silenced promtly. "It's so you eat too" was all the other said and Sanji sighed. He looked at the apple at the counter. "I have something stored up", Sanji replied softly so nobody would hear them. The rough hand of his ship mate went from the wrist he had caught tightly down to the elbow, fingers stroking the skin softly while doing so. "Oh? The spoiled thing over there that smells worse than your feet? Where'd you dig that up?"

Both went silent. It was so true. Zoro seemed like an absolute no brainer from time to time, but he was surprisingly sly at times. He was a good observer and he had a good core. Sanji eventually took the last snack and slowly ate it before laughing quietly. "Oh my god… it tastes horrible…"

Zoro tilted his head. "Eh? You think? I liked it."

"You would eat a sponge if you saw one, you hog."

"Don't compare me to Luffy, I prefer the food you make over anything. And you know it."

With a gentle laugh, Sanji let his hand rest against the table. "Thanks for the share, Zoro." He grabbed the male's hand. The hand that reaching out to had become easy so quickly.

One fight here, a wound there. A touch on the shoulder to reassure, holding each other back, body contact that had been out of question at first had become as natural as them becoming Nakama. Fighting alongside could do so much to people. Hearing reasons when there's a talk at the battle for life and death, nothing could be more honest. The insight they got of each other so far, tales of the past, it all came together naturally and the bond has formed to become so strong without doing anything. Their being together had gained so much momentum that there was no way that they could overlook each other's deepest fears and biggest dreams.

The hand squeezed tighter. "Hey, Zoro… Will they have to be hungry? What if I can't get the food in time before you all get hungry? … Hunger does so many cruel things to a human… killing intent rises even for comrades… it's horrible…"

The gripped hand pulled back and instead strong arms wrapped around the less built frame of the cook. "If we get hungry, we'll chew on Luffy. He's chewy."

"He's a rubber person, of course he is."

"See? No need to worry, it'll take ages to eat him."

Sanji held onto him even tighter. A warm and secure feeling. The smell was entrancing too, sun, salt and sweat. Manly, nothing like a lady, but this smell of strength gave him more security than anything he'd feel that he would have to protect now.

"You don't seem to be doing well…", the swordsman stated quietly.

"Because I'm not."

"Is it only the trauma?"

"Idiot… How should I know? Mainly I think… I never thought that I would ever have to worry about food supplies ever again. If I cannot even feed those who are with me, then what kind of Nakama am I?"

Zoro pushed him against the table and down onto it. "Let go", he offered calmly. Sanji had his eyes closed. His ribs hurt, his back did so as well, but he did not mention it. He could hold back. He was able to estimate the damage and weight the necessity of mentioning it. And he was against it.

"No."

"Of your worries I mean, shit cook."

"Can't…"

Zoro pulled back somewhat to have a good look at him. "Learn it then."

Sanji laughed. Simple minded. If only things were that easy...

"You can't handle girls very well, now can you?"

"So what?"

"Learn it", he teased and ended up getting smacked by Zoro. Even though it hurt he kept laughing. It was what probably was the best right now to lighten up the mood.

"You can't compare it", Zoro stated coldly. Sanji perked up. "Kuina was not a girl I liked and it all ended tragically. She was different from how you see women."

"But it still blocks the way of how you handle the ladies. You're no good with them, Zoro."

The stronger man's eyes narrowed and that was the clear sign of letting go. The topic was fragile and Sanji worked on things differently, had different needs than Zoro had. So the cook reached out to apologise. His hand got smacked away.

It was enough. They should stop. Sanji tried to wiggle out but the pressure on his shoulder holding him down. "I told you to let go of your worries."

"Straight back to the topic, aren't we?" The cook leaned up slightly.

"Help me to let go then", he whispered.


	4. Getting closer

Help is an extensive term that takes many different appearances. Therefore helping someone to let go is a difficult task that requires great sense of sensitivity and understanding. Simply put – Empathy.

If Zoro really had that much of it, honestly, Sanji had doubted this to begin with, yet you will never know unless you go with the flow and try out whatever experience may spread out before you. Since the chance was there Sanji had decided to take it anyway and now lay on the wooden table, back slightly lifted up and his upper body supported on both elbows. He smirked widely. Whatever happened now, it would not matter. Between them, things wouldn't end up bad.

Zoro put a hand on the other male's chest and gently pressed him back down. The way the swordsman licked his lips reminded the blond of a carnivorous monster that was about to devour prey and the mixed feeling that gesture caused made Sanji wonder about the quality of his decision to stay. But he sunk back, just like the pressing against his body had indicated and he waited.

"So… what is this going to be about?", the cook dared to ask eventually. Whatever might be so helpful about getting pinned onto a goddamn kitchen table in the middle of the night was a rather great mystery to the man, but Zoro seemed unfazed. He ran his fingertips up the cook's arms. "Helping you let go."

"That easy?", the blond asked sceptically. But this time there was no response. The man above wore a calm yet serious expression. His eyes were halfway closed which made their colour seem much darker than it really was. The fingers reached the shoulders and went to the front to unbutton the shirt. Sanji however reached up to stop him. "What is this about?" He didn't trust it fully, whatever was about to come now, he wanted to know what to make of it. Zoro gave him a bored look in return. The fingers tightened around Sanji and he smashed him back down without changing his expression. "Shut up. I might know what I'm doing."

"You might…", Sanji replied after a strained gasp brought about by the impact. Zoro just nodded and now reached for the buttons again to open them. The suit coat had already been off from the start, so sliding the pinstriped shirt off the shoulders of the man was an easily performed task. This time the blond did not move anymore, waited patiently and did not even follow his pretty dominant urge to grab a cigarette. He let it happen. Because why not?

The cool air hitting his skin made him shudder slightly and he looked up tense, his eyes followed every little movement that Zoro did. Not only because he was wary of the new situation, but also because it reminded him of what he would do when he wanted to try and taste a fine lady for those were the most delicious sweet things of the whole planet!

Sure thing, that narrow minded muscle idiot sure did not have something like that in mind, but the mere comparison to the situation caused Sanji to stay alert. That however turned out to be the wrong thing to do. Zoro pulled the headband from his arm and hung it loosely on top of Sanji's eyes to darken the view. Now with shadows laid upon his sight, this felt even more like something odd was going on, but he did not move. And the shudder from before got even more intense when hot and now he realised – also very rough – fingers went back to his shoulders again. The neck got a few soft strokes. In a manner that was way too gentle for a man of Zoro's calibre. He felt his left arm getting grabbed and the fabric of the shirt slid off from there. Then the right. And again it slid off smoothly and the whole torso was exposed to the night air Going Merry's kitchen. The touch was so careful and sensual, it was amazing to think that this was a touch belonging to a man in general. It did not make any sense. His fingers twitched and Sanji wanted to reach up, only to get caught again, the wrists getting slammed down, but not as harsh as before.

Endangering the hands of a cook was as good as a crime after all.

The rough fingertips went up again and grabbed the shoulders.

Next thing Sanji heard was a horrible cracking sound and fierce pain in his shoulders and he grit his teeth so he would not cry out loud. But he did rebel with his body. But the grip on him was tight and fighting was futile. First he had to withstand the shock of whatever that had been. Then that cracking sound could be heard again and he felt it coming from the joints of his shoulders when something worked in his muscles with obvious determination. He exhaled strongly. "You could have warned me… asshole."

Zoro just huffed. "If you'd have relaxed, it wouldn't have hurt as much", he stated frankly and kept working.

"What makes you think this'll help me?"

"You're tense."

"That's not what I asked."

"Balanced body, balanced soul", was the simple answer of the swordsman as he went along the neck now and started to rub symmetrically to the cervical spine. Sanji's eyes closed and he started to enjoy the treatment.

Several minutes passed and Sanji already felt like a new person only from his neck being treated like that. But he was interested in why Zoro had done this. He tried to reach for the headband again only to receive another smack. "Leave it. What do you think letting go means?" Sanji felt a finger touch the bridge of his nose and the will to pull away was only blocked by the table underneath him. "It's about stopping what's happening in your head and relaxing fully. Only with no weight in your heart you can reach for your full potential."

"Oi... what's those wiseass words coming from you."

"When you ask for my help, take it or leave it but no half ass shit."

Sanji hummed at that and spread his arms out lazily. "Keep going then. It feels pretty good considering it's a treatment coming from you."

There was no answer in return. He worked thoroughly and he tried to imagine the way Zoro might look during that sort of workout. The cracking sounds from the massage had vanished and now everything went gentle and smooth. The thoughts about being hungry, the worries about anyone suffering from starvation, for now everything was all blank and gone. All the cook did was to enjoy his life to the fullest while getting this outrageous treatment.

Feeling the tension fade like water during ebb tide, Zoro felt satisfied. He was a confident man and knew what to make of his skills. And if it helped Sanji forget it was a good thing. But he wasn't where he wanted Sanji to be yet. There was more potential.

His fingers let go from the shoulders and he touched both arms at the same time and carefully dug into the upper arms. "I told you to relax, idiot."

"I am relaxed."

"You're not."

His arm twitched. "I am."

Zoro smirked and pressed deeper, resulting in the blond to wince. "Not." He rubbed the muscles. They were not just firm and well built. Definitely a sight worth looking at. But they still did not feel all relaxed. So he took one arm and moved it to the side of the cook's body. "Here. Like this. Just concentrate on your own body. Imagine it being heavy. There's no will in you. You just want to clear your mind and take your first step from there." He trailed it with his fingers carefully before taking the second arm and positioning it similar to the other as well. Then he stroked it again to calm him. "It's all relaxed. At a safe place like this you can give yourself up." He let his palms roam over the stomach and chest. "You can let go entirely. It's a safe space right now."

Ah, it sounded idiotic. But Sanji reacted positively. The last bit of tension faded and Zoro pulled the headband away from Sanji's eyes. He walked around him again and started to work the neck and shoulders again. Zoro knew. The need of letting go. It was a horrible craving that was something impossible to obtain since they were in the position of being pirates. Trusting was not an easy matter and forgetting was life threatening at most of the times. As much as Zoro would welcome it himself just occasionally, granting this wish someone else was the choice he'd make above taking an opportunity like that.

His hands kept running along the chest now, his rough flat palms felt the traces of all muscles, felt the texture of cool skin and when he leaned up to reach for the jaw he brushed over both nipples thoughtlessly. A long, relaxed sigh was released in response and Zoro knew that what he had done was something without a doubt enjoyable. Not that he had an idea about this, but there was no need for it. He had learned far more during this time about Sanji than words would have been able to teach him. Slightest tensions, ways to release them. Places where stress originated from. The balance of muscle mass und muscle usage. They were all good hints. Now he also knew that compared to Sanji's strong legs and therefore phenomenally developed stomach and back muscles, the whole upper body was not in a bad shape but somewhat neglected in balance. He could work with that though.

The blond cook seemed to be in utter trance and it was even better this way. Zoro slid the sleeves of the shirt back on and sloppily buttoned it back up before he lifted the cook up. He carried him back into the cabin and placed him in the hammock.

What a kiss meant, he had no clue. But it felt right. So not a single thought was wasted when he leaned above him and gave these halfway opened lips an soft touch with his own, so soft it could easily be compared to a dream. Reality had nothing to do with the desires that started to burn up now that he had tasted the feeling of flesh beneath his fingers. Warm and willing, easy to get touched and careless enough to give itself to him willingly.

Sanji was by any means in danger, he would just be a very pleasing future partner for exploration that was just about to start. And since Zoro had absolutely no clue about what was going on with his body, the shitty cook was the one to explain it all eventually.

Sanji already had a dream. About fish in water that was deeper that he had ever seen it before. He was diving in the middle, swarms of fish moved like clouds in the sky, thick and rich, agile between reefs and wrecked ships, soaked wood and empty treasure boxes. Jellyfish swayed around, huge creatures swam their way past him and even though he could not identify any, he just wanted to reach out and try to figure out their taste.

It was a wonderful dream. It was paradise. Clear. Clean. Full of life.

This had to be somewhere around All Blue!

Zoro on the other hand just went to sleep.

He had a massive boner.


	5. Bitterly exquisite

New days promise changes all the time. A new morning sun brings new weather, fresh wind and thus far untold stories. Almost like a new page in a book that's introducing a new chapter.

This new chapter however starts with the loud growl of stomachs and indescribable hunger among crew members such as the monster trio. Wherein Sanji would be least worried about Luffy for that guy was always hungry to begin with, but their situation got worse. He would have to dive in order to fish this day again or they would be even more hungry for days to come.

During their previous hours they had left the empty waters they had been in, so Sanji's hopes weren't completely gone yet. It meant that a new chance could get them new food on the plate, right? Especially because he felt so utterly refreshed after last night's occasion. Zoro had performed a good job on him, his shoulders felt far more free and his muscles were still all relaxed.

Nevermind the hammock, it was a nice place to sleep, but not the best thing for your back at all.

When the cook entered the spacious deck he inhaled the moist, somewhat salty air and experienced the cleaning effect it had on his lung. Time to grab a cigarette.

He whipped out his lighter and let it click a few times. Sparks went flying but that was it. Otherwise it stayed cold and dark. He gave it a sceptical glance, then looked beyond it at the sky and back down at the lighter. The sky was as red as the fire that was supposed to be emitted by the lighter. Said fire that was not there.

The man sighed and put the lighter away only to retrieve a match box with a few of them left. Instead of poking the box open he gave it a swing with his full hand to open it and had one match fly out of it. He caught it easily before lightning it with another fluent move. Now he held it to his mouth where the cigarette was located between his lips and next time he inhaled it tasted of hot tobacco. A relaxing taste that spread not only in his whole mouth but also in his whole system. He leaned against the door to the cabins below deck and watched the sun rise.

He would have to be quick, otherwise the others would wake before he had caught some prey. So he walked up towards the railing and looked at the anchor. Time to cast it he assumed. But he couldn't do it alone, so much was obvious.

"Good morning, Sanji-kun."

The cook looked up. It was Nami. Of course his heart was fluttering in excitement but it was not the same as always. He did feel weaker. Hunger made his bones feel heavy and his muscles feel lazy and numb.

He greeted her in a calm and more human way than he usually did. The girl walked up to him. "You're so quiet, Sanji. Are you worried?"

The cook pulled the cigarette from his lips and blew out the smoke that had collected in his lungs. He didn't look at her. He could not even see her through the curtain of hair that blocked the sight of his eye, but sensing her was enough. "Of course. I can't stand it when people are hungry. Running short on supplies is the worst that could happen to us. Ussop understands but Luffy and Zoro won't make it like this. Honestly, Luffy can't handle skipping even one meal. That man becomes useless without food…" He lifted his hand and ran it through his hair. During that motion he sunk down and sat at the cold wooden floor that was still damp from the morning dew. Name sat down beside him. She was worried about her friend in this condition. It was nothing to laugh about, Sanji was seriously stressed about it.

"Fight the bad thoughts, Sanji-kun. Okay? You're not at fault. Ussop worked on the cold store again yesterday. He said you can use it, the isolation won't be as good as before but he's done his best. And you went fishing with Zoro yesterday too! If you keep that spirit up, we will have something to eat again in no time! Luffy can look out for birds too! We will make it for sure. Therefore please cheer up, okay?" She gave him a gentle pat on his shoulder. Sanji took another deep inhale from his cigarette. "Yeah. We'll make it…", he replied quietly and got up. "But we need to stop the ship or we won't be able to get off."

Nami looked up towards the man who now easily towered over her. She offered him the biggest smile she could muster.

"But I want to do it before the idiots wake up. Luffy can't dive and Zoro shouldn't go again. His wounds are not healed and he can't get back into the water, his blood will attract dangerous predacious fish."

Those words were very true, the navigator was aware of that, but holding Zoro back would be a task of impossibility. That man did whatever he wanted all the time and considering that none of them was cut out for resting properly, Zoro was probably the one who was most difficult to tame in this regard.

The two turned their heads when the sound of water splashing and heavy chains rattling cut the early morning silence. Sanji smiled. "Speak of the devil. There he goes." With a flick of his fingers the remnant of the cigarette was gone and he left Nami's side to appear next to Zoro's side.

"Yo. Go back to sleep. I can handle things on my own."

"Hitting on Nami won't get anything done, no matter how much time you invest in that", Zoro spat back and walked towards the sail to lift it. Sanji helped him nonetheless. It was his aim to stop the ship from moving after all. The scold from Nami got unheard that next time they should lift the sails first and only then cast the anchor, but she went back to her cabin after that and left the boys on their own.

Zoro pulled Sanji close as soon as they were alone. The cook looked up in confusion. "Oi, what's that about?" But he leaned against the muscular body, not complaining too much since the day before he got surprisingly used to getting touched by that idiot swordsman. Zoro knocked him at the head with his fist with so much care that it felt more like a little girl had tried to hit him. Sanji lifted his eyes and tried to find a reason in Zoro's action.

"You're worrying again. I thought I told you to let go."

The words sunk in slowly. Was Zoro worried? Was he mad because Sanji's stress level was already rising again and soon going overboard? That might be it but he had no proof for it. Instead it was his turn to take action. He gently pushed against Zoro's stomach. The green haired male gasped loudly.

"You're one to talk", Sanji mocked him. "Cut the crap. Rather go and have some goddamn sleep, you'll be in the way otherwise."

Zoro couldn't trust his ears. "What?", he asked in disbelief. Him? In the way? What kind of idiotic thoughts did that shitty cook have?

"Your wound will get washed open and you'll attract predators that I definitely don't want around when I have to get back into those waters." Zoro smacked him. "Like I can easily let you go down alone! Your focus is completely affected by the worries about us!"

Just when Sanji wanted to fight back, he felt himself getting pulled into those arms again.

From all people who could comfort him…

From all people he would want to be comforted by…

It was Zoro he leaned against now.

Humiliating.

But he kept leaning against him. Because the only one with enough insight was Zoro after all. And that man was capable of understanding human emotions better than their captain who defended the emotions of his crew with his life. Zoro was a man of trust. And Sanji gave in.

A hand lifted to touch the strong waist and he inhaled the scent. What a harsh smell. It bit his nose, the smell of long cooled sweat. But the skin had another fragrance on it. If the sun had a certain smell, was that it? Was that what the sun smelled like? Nothing like the earth, nothing like the sea. It just smelled… warm. A bit sour maybe.

A rough hand ended up being placed in the back of Sanji's neck and the cook exhaled and gave up completely. He leaned against the swordsman. "Then make sure to be useful…", the blond murmured. He did not want to let go but when Zoro loosened up and pulled away, the male did not fight it. Reason hit him. They could not do that out in the open, exposed to potential peeking of their crew members. Them getting close, it was something he did not want anybody else to see. It was his own private joy to get along with him. At least for as long as he did not know what to make of whatever they currently had.

While Zoro stripped down Sanji watched him with interest. The bandage around the stomach was bloody and used. It would make no sense to change them now that the green haired was about to dive into the ocean, but letting him dive did not make any sense either. Nami probably knew what was going to happen anyway and had new bandages prepared already, but Sanji would not count on it either. That girl could be pretty cold when it came to their stupid behaviour.

"Oi. Will you be fine?", he asked quietly while glancing at the white fabric that fell inch by inch when the stronger man removed it from himself.

"What kind of question is that, idiot? This is nothing."

"Yeah…", Sanji pondered. This was nothing. He reached to touch it. "To you it probably is nothing." He stopped himself though just a hair's breadth away from where he could touch the deep red flesh. "When I first met you… I remember it clearly. You made me sick."

"Oh?" Zoro lifted an eyebrow and watched the lank hand reach for him. He did not budge, Zoro would have allowed it.

"Yeah. Your guts hung from your stomach, the bleeding was a disgusting sight and the smell of death you emitted even ruined the fragrance seeping from the Baratie." He closed the distance and pushed his fingers into the open wound. He could reach into Zoro's stomach. Even deeper if he had wanted. Zoro bit the inside of his cheek but did not budge. Instead he waited for Sanji to continue talking. "I did not understand what's so hard for you to let go of your ambitions in favour of your life. But you're none to ever let go when you've set your mind."

Zoro laughed quietly and took Sanji's hand. The cook looked up. "You remember my guts hanging from my stomach?" Sanji pulled at his captured hand. To no avail. "You remember the smell of blood when you asked me to let go of my ambitions?" Another pull. The blond did not like where this was going. The pulling got countered – into the exact opposite direction. Sanji felt his hand getting pushed into the wound. His fingers twitched. It was warm. It was wet. It was disgusting and smelled foul. He could hear Zoro gasp but he could also hear him talk. "You don't remember anything that was important in that very moment it seems!" Sanji's hand trembled. "The pain. The peace. The pride." He let go and Sanji pulled out, his hand soaked in red. He looked at the other in disbelief and shock. "That time was about reaching my very ambition in life. What you remember to be negative and reckless is one of my proudest moments. Pain is nothing when you face your goals. No matter how big the difference. The moment you see your goal, reach for it. If you tell yourself "I'm not ready, I'll try to reach it next time" you might never face it again for the rest of your life. Never make an excuse. Prepare yourself to always bear it, to always feel it, to always be ready to try and touch! Never hesitate and never falter, never let something get in your way. And if something stresses you as a result from a path from your life so far, take it as the experience that has formed you! And suck it all up, it is part of your identity now. Simply because you survived it." Zoro slammed a flat palm against his huge scar along his stomach. Some blood spilled from it. "Don't accept it to let it become a weak spot of you, because you survived it! It means that you were strong enough! It means that you have been ready to take the challenge! It means that you can take more than you thought you could! That's what you should take from your experience! Not any gross pictures in your head! Take pride from it! Because you still live!"

Sanji looked at his crew mate, then at the bloody hand. Then back up again.

"I get it", he replied calmly. "But did you have to pull my hand inside? It's terribly gross, you know?" Sanji kneeled down and wiped the hand on the dirty bandages. Zoro watched him. "What's the clean up for anyway? Hurry up and get your ass into the ocean." With those words the swordsman was already gone into the waves. Sanji looked after him. So annoying. But Zoro was right.

That man was right in many regards. Including the survival. Sanji had made it back then. No matter how much he had suffered, it was part of him now and that was the reason why he was so obsessed with getting everybody satiated. So instead of worrying about how to get their stomachs full he should just do it.

He dropped the corded ladder and jumped into the water head first.

Later that day, the smell of fried fish seeped from the kitchen and slices of fish roasted in the pan. Sanji could not do much with it, but good seasoning already did a lot to high quality fish.

Zoro was resting on deck, his body was newly patched up and his body clean from not only the little bath in the sea but also a shower he had taken in order to clean out the wound.

The fish wasn't fully used and Sanji had put it away. All of them would eat to their heart's content today! Luffy would be surprised, the captain was still asleep. Nami had also went back for some more rest, only Ussop had known because he had been done with the nightly watch.

Sanji hummed a soft tune while he prepared a huge serving on a plate. With it in hands he brought it to Zoro and touched the man's cheek. Fast asleep. He set the plate next to him and left. That fish was their teamwork. He was definitely thankful. If Zoro had not motivated him like that, he would probably have held onto his bad feelings and would probably have not caught anything again.

"Next thing I knew was that I had become your Nakama. The thought of it is as funny as it is bitter to believe. But bitter is a taste after all, so I might as well enjoy it thoroughly."

The green haired man was breathing evenly. Just when Sanji was about to turn away the voice from the other stopped him in his tracks. "What are you talking about, shitty cook? You don't make sense." Sanji turned. He stared into an halfway opened eye and smirked. "Oh, you're awake. I did not think you were."

"That's not the issue here, what have you been talking about?"

Sanji patted him. "I was talking about you."

"Me? Bitter? Do you plan on cooking me?"

"Nah, you're probably already rotten to the bones. You'd poison everyone on board."

"Oi, watch your words!"

"Take it as a compliment, Marimo. Bitter is a commonly disliked taste. But it can be surprisingly exquisite." He leaned in and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips. "Thank you for today."


	6. Wake the Princess with a kiss

They had not looked at each other for days.

What had been meant to be a token of gratitude had gone strangely wrong. Not only was it still embarrassing for the both of them since it had never been planned that they'd eventually become intimate, it was especially hard on Zoro since he was emotionally more reserved than Sanji was. Usually handling it would take a form of ignoring the matter or talking it down to being nothing, yet that was not what the green haired seemed to want to do either.

They had stopped talking to each other ever since. Nami was sure they have had a quarrel over Zoro stealing the rum Sanji had stored to flambéing food, she never mentioned it.

They would have to face the situation eventually.

Adapting to the changing situation was necessary the moment they had to get on hunting food again. Once more they went together, just this time the situation got critical in a different matter. Their chasing another predatory fish ended in Sanji getting slammed against the ship and the cook had lost consciousness. In greatest uproar Zoro had slaughtered the fish and had Luffy store it away while the girl on board had taken care of the massively bleeding wound on Sanji's head. And before he was able to realise, Zoro had found himself keeping watch of the cook without ever leaving his side.

The time had been quiet. They were left alone, Ussop kept the guard outside, naturally ruffling his feathers about that they were only safe because the great Captain Ussop scared all the fiends away!

The day became night, the Crew had gathered here and there, all looking at the unconscious blond, all hoping that he would wake up soon, but nothing happened. The lively atmosphere set with the sun, peaceful silence arose with the stars. And Zoro had never once taken his eyes off the cook. When the man was sure everybody was asleep he inched forward and took hold of the cold hand. Of course the man was still breathing, but it was a weaker breath than Zoro was comfortable with. He had not realised it, but the emotional bond between them had built up with their fighting, had found its strength in their washing dishes together and had taken unknown, yet intense form during their latest interactions and adventures with each other. It was not only living together on such a small space and getting each other's way, it was more of a lifestyle that compared to having a close relationship.

His thumb caressed the back of the blond's hand. There was nothing to pray about. To Zoro, there was no god. He could only take whatever was reality. The durability of his friend was one of these things. Right now there was no chance but to trust into Sanji.

The man sighed and let his head hang for a moment. Trust was so difficult when there was nothing to build it upon. If he would be the injured one, Zoro would have no problem estimating the damage and getting back onto his feet. But for Sanji, he had no idea how to feel what the man was capable of taking, capable of handling. It wasn't dread that he felt, but rather insecurity. Moments of harmony popped up in his head when they had eaten together, when they had laughed together or when Sanji had kicked him out of the kitchen when Zoro had once again snitched something alcoholic.

He exhaled strongly and looked back up. Time to get a grip. Sanji would not die here, it was too early. That guy had already proven that he was none to simply give up and bite the dust. The cook was not that weak. Actually he was far from it and that was what Zoro used to build new trust upon. But that that guy would not wake up at their attempts to reach him definitely was troublesome. A doctor was yet to find and that even Nami could not do more than to patch the head up irked him equally. First he had thought that a doctor was a good idea but no necessity on this ship, but right now he wished that he had not thought that way.

Zoro set his swords aside and got up to reach out. First he checked the pulse at the neck. Even there Sanji was cold as ice, the heartbeat was slow and steady but not as strong as it used to be. His stare was blank when he took the pulse.

"We could see if there's truth to the fairy tale of the princess waking the prince with a kiss. …or was it the other way around?" His warm palm covered the cook's cheek as he talked to him quietly. The sound of waves accompanied the tone of his voice, like usually. The sea made sure that there never was utter silence at all. It could be a comfortable thing, or deadful to the point where one would go insane.

Zoro's thumb traced the delicate skin, he could feel the stubble scratch the tip of his finger. Not even when they had kissed had the swordsman paid any attention to the hair growth in the other's face. Curiously he touched his own face. It was smoother, Zoro liked to keep the hair in check since it had started to grow.

"But if I have Nami kiss you, she'd freak out. You know, she's not that kind. And you would probably complain about having a lady getting forced into doing things she does not like. Heh, must be hard on you idiot, to always get rejected and still manipulated by that monstrous woman. So, sorry, I cannot offer anything else." His hand gently traced up and he touched the bandage, traced it once again with his fingertips and then he could already feel the soft hair fall between the stroking fingers, he could feel the tickling of the shorter strands of smooth texture and the clump where the blood had dried up. "But maybe there does not have to be a princess or a prince." He leaned in and placed his lips on Sanji's just for a brief moment. He held the position for about two seconds and then exhaled and pulled back. There was still no reaction. Zoro's eyebrows twitched for a moment to change his features into those of a man in mental pain. He bit his lip.

"Just finally wake up, asshole. You're not the type to sleep so much. That's my thing."

Still no reaction. He looked back at his swords, and forth to the passed out man. If there was a way to establish a connection between himself and the swords, maybe he could put enough concentration into it to create a similar way of silent communication with Sanji. Even this was worth a try. On the other hand, he told himself that he was overreacting, but he was already beyond the point of denying that he liked Sanji more than he would any other person. He pulled the blanket a tad to the side and got comfortable next to the flabby body. The pale hand was uncovered. Not a bad opportunity to inspect the body closer. To Zoro's surprise, these hands were not as smooth as he had thought they would be. When he pulled the fingers away to get access to the palms, he instantly recognised calluses. They did not come from fighting, but being a cook seemed not to be such a soft work as he had always thought of it. For someone who never used his hands in a fight, the skin was surprisingly worn out.

The swordsman took a glance at his own hand. Calluses were there of course, the skin was rough and partially ripped. Between his thumb and index fingers there was a scar coming from him putting the swords back into their sheaths after the fights were done. He wondered if anyone would ever pay as much attention to his hands as he did to his own and the cook's right now.

The focus went back to Sanji as he closed his fingers around the whole palm. He closed his eyes and tried to feel. He tried to feel the texture, tried to feel the pulse, looked for something of which he did not know the name or nature.

His expression turned more strained as his search of the nameless got more intense. Also his hand closed around the palm even stronger and the wish from feeling something slowly turned into the need to sense something. To sense anything on a basis that went beyond physical reaction. He wanted to sense Sanji's soul, wanted to experience something that just had to be there to get reached!

The sounds of the sea got blocked out as the darkness beneath his eyelids let his whole world turn black and away from reality. Tranquillity engulfed his very person while he looked deeper into the world of nothingness in order to find a trace of Sanji there to get him back to this world. The efforts would not be in vain, he was sure of it!

His second hand moved to pull the blanket further down and up the chest where it came to a halt to feel the heart beat, caged inside the prison of ribs and bones. Sanji's soul was definitely to find somewhere deep inside. Everything that he would have to consider to do would be to focus exclusively. Then there should not be any problem at all.

Zoro's eyes ripped open instantly when the trance he was about to enter was disrupted by the barely noticeable twitch of the cook's hand. Zoro eyed him intently, preferred to watch the nose more than the chest to observe the air enter and leave the weakened body before him. Sanji's nostrils moved evenly, there was no sign of the blond waking up, but Zoro had felt it clearly. Sanji was clearly here. It had to be more than a simple natural muscle movement!

His eyes went up to rest on the eyes. The hand from the chest quickly glided up without ever breaking contact with the skin and he leaned in to watch closely. Talking would probably be a good idea to try and call upon the consciousness.

"Asshole", was the first thing he decided to say. His hand roamed over the blond locks. Now that he had sharpened his senses, Zoro could still feel how damp the tips were from the wet cloth they had put onto the forehead.

Sanji actually stirred. The first sound leaving the cook's throat was a flat, cramped hummed exhale that compared to the sound he always made when he tried to keep quiet during masturbation. Zoro smirked at the thought, but did not comment it. This was not the situation for it. Instead Zoro let go and reached for the bucket with water to retrieve the piece of cloth. The water got squeezed out by the strong grip he had on it and lifted it to wipe Sanji's forehead. "Ah, you're awake. I did not think it would happen so soon."

Sanji slowly opened his eyes, his sigh expressed gratitude for the wet and cool thing in his face. He reached up to try and hold it by himself, but he met Zoro's hand instead. "Oi… were you watching me sleep, perverted marimo?"

The rag got pulled down and into Sanji's face. The blond immediately pushed it off and threw it towards where he thought Zoro would sit. But the motion got stopped midway when Zoro had taken hold of both of Sanji's wrists and he leaned in to press him back down. "Now now, take it easy. How are you feeling?"

"Ah…" He sighed. "I need a cigarette…"

"I can have the rum in the kitchen and I get you these smelly things."

"Hands off my cooking supplies, you damn guzzler. We're not negotiating." When Sanji tried to rise up from the bed once again, the hand kept pressing him down persistently. "You're still not recovered. How are you feeling? Dizzy? Anything?"

When Sanji shook his head, Zoro could feel his own muscles relax quickly. It helped a lot that he knew now that things were not as bad as they had seemed at first. The greatest weakness were most likely a result of the blood loss Sanji had experienced. That Sanji confirmed that there was no such thing as vertigo, daze, drowsiness or numbness was a good thing to begin with. His hand ran up the arm and caused goose bumps to form on the pale skin. Sanji shivered and relaxed back into the mattress. "Wow. You know how to touch gentle too. You look far too muscle packed as to be capable of this."

"Wanna pick a fight, crappy cook?"

"Mh… Nah… not at all. It's nice once in a while I guess." His eyes locked with Zoro's. "Life's already tough enough. It's taken an obvious toll on you. I just always thought that you don't have a soft side anymore."

"Only you can make that sound so girly." He let go and gently pulled the damp cloth from the weak man's hand so he could dive it back into the water bucket to get it cold again. When he turned back, Sanji was still looking at him. Zoro hesitated. "Something the matter? Did you hit your head too hard after all?"

"Go to hell" was all Sanji replied to that with a still unusually quiet voice. The cloth rag was taken and Sanji adjusted it on his own to let it rest on his forehead. While enjoying the cool sensation he lifted his hand to the back of his head where the throbbing pain originated. Some blood stuck to his fingertips. He looked at it for several seconds before murmuring "Oi, marimo. Get over here."

Curious as to what might be up, the green haired man actually leaned in. Sanji reached up and smeared the blood along the rough lips. Zoro kept absolutely still and let the blond do as he pleased patiently. For Sanji it was a strange thing to do, but it felt even stranger that the swordsman did not pull back or fight it. On the contrary, Zoro did not only stay still, when the cook was done Zoro even licked his own lips to remove the blood from there as if it was some tasty sauce.

"You satisfied now? What's that about, shit cook?"

"Mh. Nothing. I just wanted to see it in your face", the blond contemplated quietly. The still stretched out hand moved to touch the lips once again and Zoro took hold of it, flicked out his tongue and got it off the fingers sloppily as well. Sanji still watched. Was he awestruck? He could not point his finger on it, but that had done something to him. His insides felt itchy when the tongue had come out to touch him. So he gave another push and entered the mouth that was so willing to clean. All Zoro did was to open up more, was to accept the actions without questioning them and he bit down in a teasing manner. The smirk he returned revealed that he was willing to go with the flow of how things developed. They were exploring each other, testing boundaries, testing the atmosphere as well. But not fighting anything did not mean that Zoro would give up control. Just their curiosity was two sided. Zoro reciprocated the will to explore.

When Sanji tried to lean up once more, the action got cut short quickly. The strict look on Zoro's face utterly forbid any rash moves. Or better, any moves at all. It spoke for itself, there was no need for any of them to put it into words.

The hand slowly retreated and Zoro watched a string of spit rip at the fast removal. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "So… here we are again, doing awkward things. Will we avoid each other again now? Or shall we take this to another level?"

"Are you flirting with me? Now that's creepy."

"Shut your trap, asshole. It's stating things the way they are. No denial that we're both caught up in something fucking weird."

"Seriously, I want my cigarettes."

"There ain't no such thing as a free lunch."

"I have to work for them."

"Yeah. Keep still." Zoro leaned in to pull him up carefully.

"What's that supposed to be. I thought I have to lie down."

"Gotta change the bandages. Yours are soaked. Can you stay like that or are you getting sick?"

"No problem at all."

Zoro carefully removed the bandages and put them down on the floor. The blood wet his hands and he could feel even his massively used fingers crumple up at the wetness of the liquid. He remembered how Sanji had told him about the memory of Zoro having almost died of his guts hanging out after the cut done by Mihawk. Pride and ambition. These things really could cover the sight for the will to live. In moments like these, ambition was the greatest enemy of his life since it blinded his will to live and only let his will to succeed take over. When someone was willing to die for the achievement of their dreams… Zoro wondered if Sanji was the same. Would that man die in order to see All Blue? Was diving to hunt in East Blue only the beginning? Would they jump into the waters of North Blue, South Blue, West Blue, the Grand Line and eventually, would they jump into the waters of All Blue together at some point and enjoy the view of the greatest variety of living sea creatures together? Would they be able to create a meal together? With Sanji picking a fish and with Zoro killing it with one soft strike of his sword when the title of the world's greatest swordsman would long be Roronoa Zoro's?

The man shook off the thoughts by mentally shoving the clouds of doubt from his mind. He grabbed the fresh bandages from where Nami had set them and then put them back down. Sanji watched him curiously as the stronger male took the cloth once more and gently pulled Sanji's head to his chest. The blond could not deny that this position was quite enjoyable. It made him feel secure in those strong arms.

Just because wounds were part of their daily life now and because broken bones and shattered body parts were something he had already experienced, it did not mean that it got easier to handle any of these things. Having been through worse did not mean that it stopped hurting.

Arms went up to hold onto Zoro. The cook inhaled deeply and clung to the other when the cool wetness started tapping the wound on the head to clean the worst off. He did not wince, nor did he make a sound in order to seem stronger than he felt. But he had the feeling that Zoro was well aware of the pain the man was in. And Sanji appreciated that there were no low comments on it.

When the bandage was changed, Sanji was reluctant to let go. He did not move after he felt that they were done until the other had poked him gently. However letting this opportunity slip was out of the question. Sanji grabbed Zoro's chin and he forced him to look at him. Without further resistance Zoro complied. They leaned in at the same time, the feeling mutual. Both of their lips parted in their own accord. And both men jumped slightly when their tongues touched for the very first time. Sanji had tried to get back just a little bit, but was stopped. This was it and they would go through with it now. No escapes. No turning back. It was simple going with the flow. Whatever happened happened. They would not promise to stay by each other's side forever. They knew better than to cling onto romance and illusions. Each of them could die at any occasion and broken hearts were more than inconvenient during adventures. There was no room for jealousy. No time for getting tangled up in emotional issues and complications. They'd just have each other while it would last. And when their ways would part, they would part. That was what Zoro told himself. It would be that easy. They were still free.

Sanji felt his blood rush through his veins fast, felt his heart throb in his chest as well as in his head. It hurt and pain was an ugly companion in this nerve wrecking, yet so relaxing moment. He let himself go slowly, relaxed and sank back down while Zoro followed willingly. He could feel it clearly, how they lost their cool, how both their breaths got short and excited. Zoro was a horrible kisser. Tender but so sloppy it felt like getting slobbered up by a drooling horse. But what should he complain about? Sanji himself had had enough practice, he had had hook ups that were too many to count. Probably every person was a bad kisser at the start. And Zoro did not seem like the type to sleep around out of moods. Actually it was the opposite. To Sanji, Zoro seemed like the person to wait for the right one to appear and to be a loyal servant 'til time would stop. And yet here they were, wasting their time, wasting their energy, wasting their life in each other's arms, ready to explore and ready to riot away their days in a bed with a pillow smeared with blood.

Now had never lost its meaning so fast in Sanji's life.

Time had ceased to exist and space was an illusion made up by dreaming scientists. The world became a small room and ambitions turned into a black spot in the back of covered minds. Both men forgot to care, stopped to care. Sanji lifted a leg and put it around the hip of the warrior above him. The growing need in his pants started to be in his way as he tried to push up. The result was a strangled moan caused by the excruciating pain shooting from his back into all directions of his limps and also from his ribs that were still broken from their fight at the Baratie. He fell from the other's lips and into the bed. His breath was short and ragged and he tried to control it so desperately that it only got worse. He rammed his fingernails into Zoro's arms and even though he faced up, the suffering expression with the tightly shut eyes told their own story and Zoro understood very well.

The swordsman reached down to caress the cheek. "I know… it hurts like hell is breaking from your very insides and rips you apart with burning lances from the inside out…"

Sanji nodded and tried to avoid getting looked at, but Zoro gently held him on place. "I know… That just because we try to cover it up, it does not mean that it does not hurt…"He crawled down from him and laid down beside him and held him close. "If it's just me, it's alright to admit it. I don't judge for I know the pain very well… Even now. Being sewn back together and having my guts shoved back up into me… When it's a miracle that I'm still alive… I know the pain. I'll understand if you say that it hurts…"

Sanji clawed into the muscular arms, exhaled fiercely and then nodded. Goose bumps once again spread over his skin when fingers traced him along the side and up to his arms. A sigh escaped the blond as he could feel himself relax.

But then he looked up at the shifting weight. Next thing he saw was the back of a man who was about to leave.

"Fine man you are. Riling me up and then getting cold feet? Can't do it with a man after all?"

"I don't care about things such as man or woman. But I can't keep going when it's inflicting more harm than good." Zoro adjusted his clothes and turned. "You'll get your damn cigarettes. But I'll take the booze."

"No stealing of my kitchen supplies, shitty muscle idiot!"

"Too bad you can't come after me, princess." Then the door was shut. Sanji looked after him. The waves were the only sound left in the small cabin with the only real bed on board.

"…Princess?", Sanji asked confused.

The only thing left to do now was waiting for his tobacco to appear to cover the damned taste of the salty air of the sea. Yet he had to admit, kissing that fucking boozer wasn't half as bad either.


	7. Gentle recklessness

He was alone when Sanji lit his highly coveted cigarette.

The room was dark and the ship rocked with the waves almost in tune with his breath. Sanji thought about it as a relaxing situation. The glim of burning tobacco was the only thing that was rudimentarily bright within the night's fine wrap of deeply black gloom.

The way he could feel his lungs expand at the far reaching inhale drove calm into his whole system. The crave for his desire got quenched successfully and allowed him to slowly get down to his senses. Memories of the situation only moments before struck him and the point of view changed drastically as he now had the chance to give it a clear thought.

The blond rolled over to look for something to dab the ashes onto, but grunted at the piercing pain coming from his ribs. He definitely should not move too much, the injuries were still rather fresh and that the bones were still broken from the fight at the Baratie had never left his awareness. To have stopped before had been a wiser decision than he liked to admit, especially because it had been that piece of shit Marimo head who had had insisted on stopping. No good came from this man, so why would he be insightful enough to stop on his own?

Sanji rolled back on his stomach and leaned up slowly. He wanted to draw another inhale from the cigarette, but it would cause the ashes to fall on the blanket. With a sigh he let his feet fall down from the matrass and naked feet touched the wooden floor. The left one touched something soft. Unbearable throbbing fogged his mind for a moment before it faded away again after mere seconds. The wound on his head was pretty restricting as well. Thinking straight turned out to be a difficult thing with a bruise that felt as bad as a shattered bone. Sanji was not even sure if this skull was fully intact, he had hit the ship in a really inconvenient position, so much was clear.

When his vision had cleared up again he could make out the used bandages on the floor. They would throw them away anyway, so he would just use them for now. His foot was used to shove them closer and with an effortless reach Sanji could grab them and put them on the tiny shelf beside him. Time to dab off the excessive ashes. When he had gotten comfortable again Sanji brought it up to his lips and took another deep breath of it. His ribs throbbed every time he expanded his chest but that was something he could bear with. It was better than to give up his most favourite habit.

When his eyes drifted from the roof towards the scuttle, he could easily make out Zoro's shadow. That bastard. He had taken the bottle after all. Ah, it would be nice to have him in here again. Having company in a condition like this was not so bad, especially after they had gotten closer so quickly. Things had developed within only a few days. How long exactly? Sanji had lost track of it but time was irrelevant anyway. As long as they had a good time, enough food and sense of direction, what did it matter how many days passed? All of them were enjoying life to their fullest and none of them would want it any other way.

Sanji watched the silhouette outside, as the shadow put the bottle to his lips and drank. What a horrible thing to do. How could Zoro even sense things clearly during fights so far? Wasn't alcohol reducing brain cells? He'd have to remember that, next time that asshole would get lost, Sanji would definitely throw that at that green head of his.

Another sigh. Zoro and having a sense for the atmosphere? Probably not… Otherwise that guy would know that Sanji felt lonely inside the cabin. Sanji reached for his pack of cigarettes again. He'd need another one. If the night would go on like this it would definitely be a long night. Right when it was lit he could hear the door open and Zoro went back in. Bottle in one hand, oil lantern in the other. The light of fire flattered the contours. The frame before him seemed to melt together with the darkness surrounding him, but the places that were actually enlightened were oh so clearly muscular and well developed. A delicious dish for his eyes. Sanji could imagine the taste by looking at him alone.

"Oi", he greeted him calmly. "You're back rather quickly. Did you forget something?"

The newly entered man put the lamp onto its hook and sat down beneath it. The fire's brightness reached them moderately, but the colours were all distorted by the reddish-orange hue it gave. The constant flickering engulfed the atmosphere in a mysterious manner.

When there was no answer Sanji just inhaled another time and then put his arm down to get rid of the burnt excess again. His breath was halted so he could enjoy the effect a little longer and his damaged body rebelled and expressed it by dizziness.

When Sanji exhaled again, he felt like floating. His arm lowered and he stubbed out the only halfway burned tobacco stick onto the damp bandages. What a good feeling. Once in a while he could be reckless with himself too. It did not matter if Zoro saw it. Zoro understood. Sanji knew so much about him.

The blond felt his cold hand being taken and the eyes he hadn't realised he had closed, opened up again to look at him lazily. No words were spoken but the eye contact they had was intense enough to fill whole pages of a book.

Sanji was the first to blink. He was also the first to smirk and to look away. Ridiculous. Of course Zoro would not say a word, but the way he disapproved was so obvious, it almost physical. This pressure coming from these eyes above him, this expectation that strained and tensed Sanji's patience. His second hand reached to cover his own eyes so he would not accidentally reciprocate that look again.

"It hurts… so damn much…"

The hand enveloping his own got softer and he could feel Zoro's thumb stroke his hand. There it was again, that rough feeling of skin meeting skin that made him feel excited. Getting going about something so simple, it was humiliating how well it worked. But his physical needs grew and Zoro was absolutely convenient.

While his eyes were still covered, breath suddenly appeared before his lips. Sanji could smell the stinging stench of rum that had been stored away for the purpose of cooking only. It had been a good brand, he could smell the flavour and the exquisite traits of it even in Zoro's breath. The cook licked his lips unconsciously. He was expecting a kiss. Instead his whole body jerked up in surprise when the breath suddenly hit his ear and shot goose bumps along with nerve wrecking excitement through his veins. The pain caused by the tension intensified the feeling of shock and left the blond breathless for a moment.

Zoro spoke. Directly into his ear. The deep voice was something entirely else when it was used so careful, when it sounded almost erotic, ringing in his head and removing complete awareness of any other sounds in existence. "Baka" was the first word that reached his brain after that shock of quiet breath. Then he smirked. "It means that you're alive."

With his body still alerted like that it was hard to respond to such a philosophical statement. Booze might damage brain cells, but maybe it killed off the right ones when Zoro could become such a sensitive man when having a raised level of alcohol in his blood.

No doubt that it had been done on purpose, but neither of them commented on it. It was enough that both knew.

Sanji put his hand into Zoro's nape and just held onto it. No reason whatsoever. They were getting used to it after all – going with the flow that is. A quiet gasping whimper got coaxed out of Sanji's tightened neck when a tongue touched the shell of his ear and it was as disgusting as it was exhilarating! To feel this disgusting wetness, to hear these lewd sounds! But it set his body on fire and it felt so good! Only half aware of the rest around him he could feel a flat palm being put on his hip. The urge grew, it made him shiver! Just one move would be enough to brush his longing parts into this warm hand! But his pride would not allow him to give in so easily. The situation was already developing horribly enough as he could feel his nipples stiffen by such simple tasks done to him and to have his voice change so drastically by mere talk! Embarrassment seemed to swallow him up and he wished the ground would open up beneath him and let him disappear just so he would not have to face this humiliating loss of control.

The cook grit his teeth so he would not let out another strange sound but felt like choking the palm actually brushed only the side of his private parts. His body convulsed at the feather light touch and stinging pain spread within his chest almost like a curse. It was embedded in these thrilling feelings neatly and merged into something that was by far unpleasant.

When his lips parted slightly he caught himself huffing short gasps of air and only then he realised just how fast his heart was beating. Why did Zoro know so well how to handle him? It was absurd to even think that the Marimo could have collected any experience somewhere before. That could not be the case, there was no way. There was absolutely no way. No way at all. He continued to repeat these words in his head as to distract himself, but another tremor threw him off track when the same hot hand that had just lightly grazed him before had its fingers dipped beneath the underwear's elastic band. Half an inch or so, not enough to be invasive yet, still sufficient as to make a point that the line was about to get crossed.

Sanji let it happen. He just lay before him, body mostly uncovered, from the waist up exposed to air and sight that it made it difficult for Zoro to not go way too fast.

For Zoro, listening to Sanji's body was important. He had a hard time sensing the needs coming from it. Interpreting it right when feeling way too easy with everything thanks to the strong alcohol was even more difficult and a task that was best not done sloppily.

His fingers pressed down to the skin beneath the waistband, they dipped into the junction between the hips and legs. Zoro could feel the hipbone frame Sanji's shape. He twisted his hand slightly and let the nail of his thumb graze along the thin skin covering the bone and another twitch of the igneous flesh told him that it had been a good decision. The face of the cook seemed somewhat suffering, but not in a way that rejected what they did. Should he do something Sanji would not like, the blond would definitely fight. Sanji was not in such a bad shape as to not complain. But not such complain ever came. Instead the muscles beneath his palms seemed to be extraordinarily willing to slacken off.

Without a sound Zoro let his tongue flick out to wet his lips. His expression had been a poker face all the time. He was focused on feeling what the body told him. All responses were so good. Sanji was so good. Willing for pleasure, open for adventure, accepting unbound exploration.

Honestly, Zoro had no idea what to make of it, but he liked it. His position was superior and he got to know another human in a way he had never before. Through his hands he could feel vibes coming from the hot skin, no, rather coming from deep within. As if the whole body was communicating with him through actions only. And Zoro was willing to listen.

Meanwhile Sanji had become a trembling mess. Sweat caused his skin to feel cool on the upper side but also to feel drenched on the back where it was connected to the soft sheets. His eyes were still closed and he could only concentrate on the gradually ensuing actions that were slowly taking away all of his common sense.

An inhaled gasp for air expressed the shock he felt when once more voice penetrated his ear. Dark and tender. Dripping with perverse confidence. Sanji hated it. He detested it! A simple hum had made his body jump and his hands to cramp and claw into the sheets as if he'd have to hold onto something for dear life!

His breath was ragged and his mind long fading, still not blank but that was yet an inevitable event.

His chest was raising and falling quickly and words were a lost attempt to form for all that left him were quiet voiced gasps escaping with air from his lungs. It hurt. It hurt so good it was driving him crazy! It hurt so horribly that it was confusing him to the brink of his sanity. How such feelings could match so sweetly, yet so tremendously. It was far worse than a dream. Only reality could mix occurrences in such a mind blowing way. Only reality could be this cruel as to reach limits of a human to make him want to faint just to escape sensations that were new and thrilling and tingling and to be felt from head to toe without exception.

His hips already moved involuntarily and the feeling of the rough hand trying to force him down was even more intoxicating. Zoro felt a rush of arrogance. Sanji was at his mercy.

Not that he would ever abuse it, but the fact that he icould/i was sufficient to get high about.

Hardly did he use more force as the hips had to still under the pressure of Zoro's weight being put upon the hipbone. The fight of the blond to receive friction could still be felt through the strength the swordsman had to use, but it was alright. It was part of the game they played. A game that had gained excitatory momentum.

Zoro put his second palm that until now had only supported his weight on the matrass onto Sanji's ribcage – the side that had not as many broken ribs as the other. He did not use any pressure. But the gentle writhing of the probably already senseless cook could easily be felt. The way the breath was short, the bones moving with every try to push up, the ribcage expanding and deflating. Even without putting pressure on it, Zoro could feel it all. He could see it all. The wet sheen in the fire's light, the stiff and erect nipples throwing shadows onto the chest, every muscle showing from the tension built within the cook's body.

It was an honest conversation they had. No lies were told, no truth was hidden. Sanji had handed himself completely over right now. And Zoro accepted it. He honoured it like a sacred sacrifice.

The man leaned in to kiss Sanji's throat. The blond had his head rolled back and neck thereby fully exposed so gaining access was easy. He could feel stubble scratching his lips when he leapt onto thin skin there to suck some of it into his mouth to bite it in a teasing way.

Finally another voiced sounds were unleashed and Sanji's toes curled. The situation started to take its toll on Sanji's body. He began to suffer from the short breathing and the pain slowly began to take over pleasure. The way the tension changed was what disclosed these very facts to the swordsman as he tried to get more secrets out. This would have to end soon or it would once more do more harm than good.

Zoro let go of the skin and shifted just a little bit to reach Sanji's mouth. A gentle touch from lips to lips was Zoro's way of showing gratitude that Sanji had endured this for so long. The hand on his hip dipped deeper and Zoro was strangely surprised by the sweat that had collected there by now. It felt unsettling when he avoided the hardness stretching and straining the underwear's fabric only to gave the enormously tightened balls a gentle touch with his fingertips. It hardly even resembled a stroke when at the same time his lips had moved to kiss the temple of the blond and then to the back of the same blond's ear to give it an equally tender kiss there.

Sanji inhaled noisily and felt his whole body tense. Time had stopped when his eyes ripped open. As if his heart had stopped beating and the world was about to fall away.

That very moment Sanji was sure that he was about to die from all what had gotten pent up.

Then the relieving voice.

"Come."

One word.

Quiet.

Gentle.

Unleashing.

Another heartbeat lifted the curse of stopped time and his conscience faded into white.


End file.
